His Best Friend
by toumeiillusion
Summary: They did everything together, even running away from home, but college changes a lot of things. Apparently, no one ever thought to remind John that falling for your best friend was normal. [Twelve Shots of Summer: Trinity Limit]


"Run away with me."

Of all the things John Laurens had expected his best friend to ask him to do, running away together had never been one of them. It wasn't so far out of left field that he was entirely shocked but it wasn't something he ever figured would happen. They talked about it. What teenager didn't? They'd never been serious before, though.

Eli looked up at him with watery eyes and reached out, taking John's hand into his own. He couldn't help but notice that Eli's hand was shaking. He never shook before. Eli had the steadiest hands John had ever seen, even when he was anxious or panicking. John looked at him with concern and squeezed his hand.

"What are you talking about? We can't really run away, Eli. You know that."

"We're about to graduate, John. We're gonna' be free from school and we're old enough to leave on our own. You can drive, I can plan, and it's not like I don't have anything saved up. I've really thought about it. I think about it all the time. We can get our diplomas and run. Go to New York or Maine or Ohio. Wherever. I don't care. I'll go anywhere. I'm ready as soon as you are."

John watched him talk, watched his eyes spark and tears fall down his cheeks slowly, watched how he went from looking scared and fragile to looking so determined it made falter. He could almost get swept up into Eli's emotions when he talked like that, but he also had enough self-control to stop himself before he could get to that point. Twelve years of being with him, being his most constant friend, had taught him how to handle Eli when he went into a state of passion.

He pulled his hand from Eli's and touched his cheek gently, pressing his palm against his face. "That sounds so good. It sounds absolutely amazing. And I want to say yes so bad-"

"Then say it! Do something you want to do, John. Don't be afraid of it. Think of yourself for once and not whether or not it makes sense." Eli's hands flew up and held onto John. He was practically a ball of jitters now, begging John to leave with him. He wanted to say something, anything, that would make Eli calm down.

John sighted out softly, closing his eyes. He couldn't do that. If he wasn't going to follow up on it, he couldn't tell Eli anything he wanted to hear. He wanted to, though, and that was his problem. A promise to run away was just too much. He'd never been away from his family, from his home, for more than a few weeks for summer camp when he was a kid. Running away, never coming back, was a huge step for him. John wasn't sure he was ready to make it, even if his home life was horrible.

"I know," John said carefully. "I know I don't do that very much. It's just a lot, Eli. I don't know if I can really say… Anything… About it now. I don't want to rush. Let's just calm down for a minute, okay?"

"I don't want to calm down! I've had seven years to try and calm down and I'm done with it. I want to make sure he never lays a hand on you ever again!"

John broke down. Tears spilled over his eyes and he pulled Eli into a tight hug, burying his face into the shorter boy's shoulder. He knew he cared, he always knew, but he didn't know that was what spurred him into this whole idea. John had always thought Eli wanted to run from his own problems. He never would have dreamed that he wanted to run because of him. That he wanted to run _for_ him.

Eli's arms wrapped slowly around John's waist and he rubbed little circles into his sides. John vaguely heard him mumbling that it was okay and he was sorry. The hug only got tighter every time Eli said something to him.

"Okay," John managed through choked sobs. "After graduation."

Eli smiled, just a little.

"Thank you."

[]

Eli slid the box over the table counter and let out a big sigh. The apartment was small but comfortable and close to the college campus they would be going to. That was the best he and Laurens could have asked for and, with the price of apartments in New York, New York, the best they were going to get.

"Is that the last one?" John asked, looking over his shoulder as he continued to fill the cupboards with the dishes they'd brought in only minutes ago. He was still surprised at how much Eli had managed to make off of his art commissions online. He hadn't even known he was doing them in the first place, just that he was almost always drawing like his life depended on each stroke.

 _In retrospect, he doesn't ever draw any other way,_ John mused as he thought it over. The boy was going to be an art major for a reason.

"Yep. No more box carrying for me!" Eli beamed a smile in John's direction and his heart fluttered. He brushed it off as being happy to be away. Leaving had been such a terrifying idea leading up to graduation that he hadn't been able to calm down at all. His own father hadn't even known he was leaving until he told him after the ceremony and ran off to find Eli and his father.

Now that they were here, now that George had left, everything was so quiet and safe that he could think clearly and spend a moment to breathe. Of course he was happy now. A little heart flutter didn't have to mean anything more than that.

"Hey, you want me to go start on the bedroom or help finish up out here? I have way too much energy to take a break right now."

"Yeah, actually, we should probably get it set up before too long. You have that early meeting set up for tomorrow, don't you?"

"And you have a nine o'clock interview at that little coffee shop. Bedtime around eight?"

John laughed a little. Too much energy to take a break and yet here he was, setting a bedtime only a few hours away. They both knew he wasn't going to follow up on it, not for lack of trying, but they left it as an unspoken understanding. John would have to find all of the medicine before they could sleep anyways.

"Whatever works for you, man."

[]

It would have been a lot simpler for John to just admit that he was a little jealous of the new crew member than to brush it off every time it was even near being mentioned but he didn't have it in him. He'd known Eli a lot longer than a certain Alexander Hamilton did, and he figured that meant he should be secure in his position as best friend. And he was, for the most part. No, what he was really jealous about was how much attention Eli was giving him.

He woke up in the mornings to Alexander's phone calls, he went to sleep after one, he saw him on campus and went to club with him, and he even studied with him if time would allow it. Alexander Hamilton always seemed to be right at his side and it really bothered John. They had never been like that, not even in middle school, and he was starting to wonder if it meant something.

John's eyes narrowed a little as he watched Eli lean over Alexander to grab a console controller. He was practically in his lap and still couldn't reach it. It honestly would have been better if Eli would just ask him to hand it over instead of splaying himself over Alexander.

 _Maybe that's the point though, John. Maybe he wants to drape himself over him._ He shook his head and frowned. He knew better. Eli wasn't gay. Or, at the very least, he never told anyone he was gay and it would have been a new development. As far back as he could remember, Eli had always been very focused on girls. He could remember him fawning over a girl named Maria when they were in middle school and crushing on at least half of the girls in high school.

 _But he didn't ever date them. And who says his preferences haven't changed? His dad is bi, why can't he be? I mean, really. Have you seen the way he looks at him? You'd think Alexander was the whole freakin' world._

A triumphant cry reached John's ears as Eli snapped himself back up, controller in hand and a wide grin spread over his face. Alexander let out a short laugh and pushed him gently as he removed himself entirely from the other man's lap. John could see the faintest hint of blush showing on Eli's face and tried to write it off as his naturally rose tinted cheeks but inside he couldn't help feeling that annoyingly negative voice was right. His best friend had a thing for a guy who wasn't him.

"You want in on this, Johnny? I know you love _Dokapon_ as much as I do."

John jumped a little, suddenly pulled from his own thoughts, and looked over at Eli who waved the controller in the air and gave him a look John knew meant he was worried. He put on his best smile and nodded, saying he'd love to join. Eli brightened up immediately and cheered, turning to face the screen and start making his character. From the corner of his eye, John saw Alexander shoot him a quick smile and turn back to Eli. Annoyance bubbled up in John's chest.

 _Why does this bother you so much anyways? It's not like you have a crush on him or anything and he can date whoever he wants. You didn't used to have a problem with this. What happened?_

Eli passed the controller off to Alexander, grinning at him and telling him to choose his class wisely. Their hands touched and lingered just long enough to really bother John. He hoped this was just a passing thing. A little bit of jealously over his best friend finding someone else he liked just as much as he liked him.

Because there was no way he was crushing on his best friend, right?

[]

John had only ever seen Eli worry himself to the point of no sleep and tears once before and that was when he was in a hospital. He was starting to wonder if it was a recurring thing and half the reason he didn't like them. Nothing big had happened, the doctor promised that it was just a few minor cuts and no real damage. Still, Eli looked like he'd just been told that Alexander was given a death sentence. His face was red and puffy, his whole body shook, and he flinched every time someone besides John tried to touch him.

"You okay, Eli?"

"No. I'm not. God, John, I was so worried. There was blood. I thought he… I mean… You know… I've caught it before and I was just… So scared I thought… John, I was scared that he did something and I…" Eli buried his face in one of his hands.

John couldn't think of anything to say to him that might help. Eli was never this bad, not even when he was depressed. He couldn't finish his thoughts. John wanted to reach out and hold him, mutter everything he wanted to hear and make him breathe, but he knew it wouldn't help. He might actually make it worse. He could hold his hand, he could stroke his hair, but anything more than that seemed like it was reserved.

 _Now is_ not _the time to start that._ John squeezed Eli's free hand and pushed his thoughts away. He needed him to be there now, not off in his head and feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't fair to Eli and it certainly wasn't fair to the guy laying in a hospital room.

"I'm so sorry," Eli mumbled, more to himself than to anyone else. He kept his eyes closed and face turned away from him, but John knew he was starting to cry again.

"Hey, he'll be fine okay? He's gotten out of worse before and he'll have you there to help. Don't worry so much."

Eli let out a sort, heartless laugh. They both knew that was basically impossible. Not only did Eli worry about nearly everything he could, but there was no way he could do anything but worry about Alexander. Even when he wasn't in a hospital bed, Eli fussed over him night and day.

"Yeah… Okay…"

"Why don't I go and get you some coffee? You look like you need it."

Eli nodded weakly, curling into himself when John let his hand go. He took the chance to get up and leave quickly, not wanting to be gone longer than he needed to. When he came back he realized he hadn't even thought about asking how Eli took his coffee but it was already in Eli's hands and being sipped at quietly.

"Is it-?"

"It's perfect. Just like how you used to make during band. Thank you, John."

[]

"Hey, Alexander can we talk for a minute?" John leaned up against the wall and looked at Alexander as he slowly looked up from his computer and whatever he was furiously typing at the time. He looked unfocused for just a second before the usual sharpness came back and he looked at him directly.

"Yeah. What's up?"

John took a deep breath before he started talking again.

"It's about Eli," he said slowly. "No, nothing is wrong so don't start panicking. I just… How serious about him are you? 'Cause I've seen how you act around the Schuylers and… Look, if you're not gonna take him or his affection seriously I'm gonna have to ask you to leave him alone. He literally can't take heartbreak anymore."

Alexander gave him a confused look, turning away from his work completely, and sat up straight. It was a good sign, John figured, since that meant he caught his total attention. He was at least taking this conversation seriously.

John pushed away from the wall and came closer, dropping onto the couch across from Alexander. It was easier to have this conversation closer together and eye to eye than it was to be nearly a whole room apart.

"Why wouldn't I be taking him seriously? Have you even talked to _him_ about this?"

John's breath caught in his throat. He hadn't thought about that and now that he was, he realized he really didn't had any business in this. He should have asked Eli if it even bothered him, not jumped right in assuming things about the two of them that he couldn't know. He had no place in their relationship.

 _But he's also prone to lying about that stuff. He doesn't like making you worry about him,_ a quiet voice said in the back of his head. It was right, but also wrong. When it came down to it, he would tell him eventually. He always had. John knew that.

"No. I haven't, and I should have. I'm still worried though. The Schuyler sisters aside, I don't think you know how much you mean to him. I've known him almost my whole life and he's never been the way he is with you. Not even with me. You're on a whole new level for him, Alexander. He's… Enthralled by you. It like you're the only thing he can think of anymore. He does all these little things just because he likes you and… If you're not taking his feelings into account, I'm obligated by best friend code to beat you up."

Alexander laughed for a moment, making John crack a smile. He had hoped that the last bit would break at least a little of the tension he'd put in the room.

"Don't worry. I put him before anyone else and he knows that. What brought this sudden brotherly speech on, John? Did something happen with you two?"

 _Hell yeah something happened._ I _happened._ John shook his head. He couldn't tell him that. Alexander was the one dating Eli. He was the last person that needed to know about his thing for him. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't live together, if Eli didn't insist that there was nothing wrong with sharing a bed, but that wasn't the case.

"Nothing happened. I'm just worried about him, you know? He's like the only family I have. He's the reason I moved in the first place." John paused, considering the statement. Eli really was the entire reason he was here. If it wasn't for him, John probably would have just stayed in South Carolina with his father, gone off to some school he didn't care about to become a lawyer and get stuck in some profession he didn't want. He probably wouldn't ever let himself fall in love with anyone either. His father hated him enough just for liking guys. If he dated one…

John snapped himself out of his thoughts and focused on Alexander. This was what mattered. Making sure Eli wouldn't get hurt by him. He could think about everything else later and try to sort through it, but not until he trusted him with Eli.

"…Have you told him?"

"Told him what?"

"That you're in love with him."

John forgot how to breathe. This was Alexander Hamilton. Of course he figured it out. Of course he could tell how John felt about him. _As if it wasn't obvious to begin with. Just because Eli doesn't know doesn't mean that nobody knows. Or maybe he does know and I just never noticed._

"Relax, John. It's alright. You're not the only one in the room who's been in this position."

"That… Doesn't make me feel any better." John let out a deep sigh and sank down in his seat. It could only go downhill from here. He couldn't think of a single good thing that could come out of something like this.

"Ah. Sorry. I guess it wouldn't."

They sat in silence for a minute and John considered just getting up and walking out. He could wander around the city for a while, stop by the park and take a break. He could go to that coffee shop with the special mochas and really rich brownies. He could go study in the school library. He could do just about anything other than sit there and wait for something to happen.

"Have you ever heard of polyamory, John?"


End file.
